Thursday, January 29, 2015

Cancer-versery

The story is never easy to recall & it is certainly never something we want to revisit however the lessons that made us stronger, wiser & more compassionate will be with us forever.  Today, when I look at my wife I sometimes worry, sometimes cry and sometimes I just kiss her on the face and thank the Lord above that she is still with me.  The fight is over and she won but the war is still on.  The war between her and her mind is a battle that I can not see and I can not feel but one in which I know is ongoing. She is a warrior with characteristics similar to those of a tough ultra-marathon runner.  Physically she has and continues to demonstrate an ability to absorb pain beyond belief. Mentally she has overcome the initial fear of dying and now has trained her mind to focus on life rather than the potential return of cancer. There should be no greater hero in the life of ours sons, Kyle & Ian,  than their mother who was not and is not afraid to stare cancer in the face without fear.
 This woman is my hero, someone I love, someone I respect and someone that I admire.


Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Thanksgiving Message 11/27/2014

A little Thanksgiving note expressing my thoughts to my friends and family:
Every second of every minute of every hour of every day in every week of every month in the year 2014 has been challenging in one way or the other. I’ve felt fear, sadness, anger, compassion & love over & over again. I’ve recognized the kindness that others possess and have received the benefit of human compassion from my family, friends and folks I hardly know. Tears have streamed down my cheeks both while holding my wife tight in my arms and while alone in the quiet darkness of a small room. I led my family at home & I led my co-workers at work and at times my family led me while my co-workers picked me up off of the seat of my pants. All the while my beautiful wife experienced the same emotions while battling a terrible, life threatening disease.
In 49 years of my life there is not one time that I can recall in which I am more thankful than I am this Thanksgiving for the blessings I’ve received. I’m thankful that when called upon God provided the strength that allowed us to be courageous. I’m thankful that my wife elected to be positive, to be strong & to do battle. I’m thankful that the education provided to my boys by our public school system was such that they were a positive influence in my wife’s recovery. I’m thankful to have gained an understanding and realized the benefit of human compassion. I’m thankful that my wife is alive, my kids are happy, my dog is okay, my house is in one piece, I have a job & I’m generally okay.
In some lives there is always tomorrow for dreams to come true & at one point this pertained to us as well but now today is always THE day that we realize our dreams. There is no time, there is no tomorrow there is only today to make happen what you want to happen.
My dear wife I thank God every day that you were brought into my life & this Thanksgiving more than ever I will thank Him over and over again. Love you very much & I love the folks who have supported us throughout this whole battle.

Negative CA125 blood test--No evidence of disease--yay!!!!!!!

Christmas came early this year for my wife when she found out she doesn't have cancer she took the time to go to the mall today to thank Santa for the present


10/31/2014


Angela's Birthday 10/27/14

Celebrating my wife's birthday tonight. So happy that she is in this world with us on this day. We love her so much!

Return to Work 10/14/14

My wife returns to work tomorrow nine months after departing to have surgery to remove cancerous tissue & post operative chemo treatments. Lots of emotion flowing through both of us this evening but both of us have a tendency to internalize emotions so an outside observer wouldn't notice. She doesn't need to tell me it is obvious that she's both anxious & excited about returning to the co-workers who supported her from start to finish. I won't tell her but she'll read it here that I'm anxious as well. I want her to return to work because she wants too not because she feels she has too. She's been through a lot mentally & physically and it will take a lot longer than 9 months for her to heal. I love this woman so much that I'll work ten jobs if need be so she never has to return if it is something she does not want to do. I am very proud of her for the demonstration of strength that she has displayed and continues to display.