Edit 2/1/2024
I posted the below message late last night but deleted it shortly thereafter. The words detail how I see things from my eyes and not necessarily the eyes of my wife. As the person directly affected by the disease she clearly has a different perspective than that of the caretaker. I also have a tendency to downplay the suffering not because I don’t recognize it but more so because I am of the belief that it’s more important to share how her response to the disease dictates the behaviors of those that surround her. I made the decision to repost because I want people to recognize that she is a symbol of hope. While certainly personal, her 10-year experience has affected and will continue to affect a broader audience. There is a lot of pride in that little body of hers so much so that she struggles to humble herself enough to recognize how influential she has become. As you take the time to read through my words please keep in mind the person suffering has a different perspective but the message that normalcy can be achieved is still the same.
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Original Post 1/31/2024
You might think that after 10 years visits to
Penn Medicine - Abramson Cancer Center would be routine but they're quite the opposite. The drive-up is always quiet, I sense anxiety, and as a lot of males attempt to do I try to fix it. The logjam of cars as we enter Philadelphia serves as a bit of a distraction but also it can be a source of more emotion. Once at the facility, it's time for a cup of coffee and lots of waiting. A consultation with the doctor is usually
quick and then it's off to the treatment area for an infusion or two. After 6 hours of waiting, consulting, and treating we make the trek home. My wife and I then finish out the day by returning to work and doing the things that normal families do.
Speaking of normal one of the most amazing qualities that my wife has is the ability to be normal in an abnormal physical state. The people she surrounds herself with find strength in her actions and reactions. We respond positively to uncertainty because of the confidence she exudes. I have witnessed the smiles in public and the faces of agony when alone. She has unbelievable courage, strength, and tremendous love for her family.
Those trips to Abramson are anxiety-laden but also opportunities to support each other. The consultations have changed from the doctor providing 100% of the guidance to now the doctor asking my wife her opinion. It was a little frustrating to me when that first started happening but I guess 10 years of being a patient can only supplement 8 years of medical school. The time spent waiting and drinking coffee are opportunities for us to bond. Some might say our relationship has become stronger because of this time we have together.
Throughout her ten-year bout with cancer there have been scary times and exciting times. The most important thing is that she is here with us to experience those emotions.
I love her very much and would not want to be anywhere else in the world except with her. We appreciate all of the positive comments and encouragement and can assure everyone they are helpful.
One final note before I conclude this post is that we are excited to report the results of her PET showed dramatic improvement. She has been given a wonderful opportunity to take a break from treatment for a few months. We will definitely be taking advantage of this time away from the treatment chair to do something fun.
