Chemo visit Wednesday 7/15--Angela's Thoughts

Oh boy...what an interesting chemo day. The normal drive to Abramson Cancer Center getting worse with traffic. Thank you Dave Bursler for not killing us on the way there or back...lol I do the usual blood work and check in for chemo. A couple walks in and proceeds to chemo check in. The spouse isn't even supposed to be there but proceeds to tell the check in person how awful it was having the Coronavirus.....the wife (cancer patient) doesn't want to wear a mask. I spoke to the check in person about the Coronavirus spouse and she tells me he tested negative twice...he's fine. Are you serious???? Stay AWAY and take your wife with you if she doesn't want to wear a mask. Then there was another guy (not a cancer patient) with an older chemo patient who was snoring so loud... until his phone rang and you heard everything he said and it continued...snoring and phone conversations. WTF is wrong with people. I was told no one can come up to the chemo floor without a doctor's note?...I am sure none of the extra 5, 6 or 7 people had a note but they took up the few amount of chairs that were there. Another women couldn't understand English but did she really have to have her two older children in the waiting room with her....they didn't understand what 6 feet away meant. The more people up on the chemo floor...the more chance people can get infected. There is no excuse for Penn Medicine to let their guard down in a cancer facility. It's kind of funny that all the administrative check in people have a guard in front of them and ask you to step back if you get close. And to top the day off, I went outside to sit on a bench 6 feet away from an older gentleman who couldn't stop farting and it smelled horrible. And to think I pay thousands of dollars for this....

Treatment #8 Postponed

May 27, 2020

Chemotherapy treatment #8 was postponed today and will not resume for two weeks.

The period of remission that lasted from May of 2019 to March of 2020 ended with Angela Bursler experiencing symptoms for the first time since the initial diagnosis in 2014. It was because of this that the protocol for this round was more aggressive. A typical protocol is 3 weeks of treatment and then a week off but the doctor's plan of attack was to treat every week until Angela waved the white flag. The assumption was that she would be able to withstand one round (4 treatments) before she would relent but she worked through pain and weakness to extend it out to 7 treatments before finally saying uncle.

She has an unbelievable will to live. By living I don't mean living for herself but instead for her kids, mother, father, friends, dogs, and yes even me. I can't explain how difficult it is to watch a person you love suffer but I can tell you that it is so inspiring to watch that same individual rise up and overcome challenge after challenge. I love her to death and have so much respect for her.
#Angelasangels

Chemotherapy treatment #4 Round 4

Tomorrow is world ovarian cancer day and it will pass by with little recognition because of the intense focus on the pandemic. It's hard to gauge the feelings of a person who suffers from cancer during such an unstable period. I suspect that because he or she is constantly at such a heightened level of anxiety that his or her condition can't be made worse.

June 1st will the 6.5 year anniversary of the day Angela Bursler first recognized that she had something different going on inside of her body. A month later she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. One surgery and sixteen chemotherapy treatments later she was declared in remission. Unfortunately, she had two more occurrences one of which landed her in a hospital bed from twenty-one days. May of 2016 was a challenging month for her as she battled a near-death experience. Declared neutropenic, isolated in a hospital room with her lungs full of fluid she somehow rose herself from the dead and beat cancer once again.

Here we are 6+ years since she was first diagnosed facing a much different challenge. In March of 2020, just before the pandemic hit, she was diagnosed a fourth time with cancer. Most would say that would be devastating but she cried for just a moment before getting on her horse and riding again.

Questions that I pose to myself but never to her are how do you manage? How do you smile? How do you get up every day and act like nothing is wrong? She is a strong woman so much stronger than me. I maintain my composure not because of my strength but because of her strength. I get up and do what I have to do like nothing is wrong not because I'm strong but because she is strong. She can call me a hero or a saint but truthfully those words are meant for her.

So then you ask yourself the question what is it that is being done to keep her alive. Well, I have some answers most of which I learned from her. There are more but here are the top three.

1. Cry when you need to but smile and laugh more.
2. Live your life as though nothing is wrong.
3. Have the ability to forgive yourself and your partner. Life, in general, is emotional life compounded by illness is even more emotional. It is okay to get angry but be ready to forgive.

It is because of her our life is about as normal as it can be. Yes, there is a pandemic but our biggest battle is cancer and we know how to win.
Love you Angela Bursler

#Angelasangels

Chemo Rd 1 Angela's Facebook Post

4-8-20
The wierdest visit to Penn Medicine Pearlman Center...ever. Dave drove me and dropped me off. I entered the center and it was a ghost town. Other then Doctors and Nurses I saw maybe 20 people or patients there. Usually there are thousands of people there. I went up to the gynecological oncology floor and I was the only one in the waiting room. It was down right eery. I'm not even sure how this could happen as this facility was always packed with hundreds of people in treatment. I met my new oncologist who I liked very much and continued with chemo in a room with a window....which rarely happened before. It went well and I hope the chemo will continue to do its job. It was just the oddest experience I have ever had since going to Penn. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers

Chemo treatment #1 Rd IV

April 7, 2020
Tomorrow will mark six years thirty-nine days since Angela Bursler's first Chemotherapy treatment and it will also be round one of her 4th bout with the disease. We are optimistic but sad that for the first time since being treated at Penn we will not be able to be together. She wrote me a note stating as much ending the one-line message with a sad face. I can only say that it broke my heart but as I said to her it is for just a short time. If you are a religious person I ask that you please say a prayer for her tonight and if you are not religious please include her in your thoughts. She is a strong-willed woman and will overcome this challenge.

Ovarian Cancer Round IV

4/1/2020

The pandemic has introduced a new wrinkle into our lives as a whole with those suffering from debilitating, chronic Illnesses probably adapting the best. Those folks face challenges every day that could potentially threaten their well-being. They sit on the edge of their seat waiting for the result of every test confirming that he or she gets to live for another month. They silently manage pain while comforting those they love and meeting obligations without complaint. These people are your neighbors, your co-workers, your friends, your family but unless you are intimately connected rarely will you understand how challenging it is for them to pretend to be normal. I state this today because my wife is one of these people. In my world, she is a hero, a leader and someone that I look to for strength. Our journey has taken us up many hills and through many valleys but we've always walked together and always will. In the coming weeks, we will once again begin a journey up a steep mountain with the cloud of the virus in our path but we will reach the top and overcome once again. She is not alone and will never be. #Angelasangels