Chemotherapy treatment #4 Round 4

Tomorrow is world ovarian cancer day and it will pass by with little recognition because of the intense focus on the pandemic. It's hard to gauge the feelings of a person who suffers from cancer during such an unstable period. I suspect that because he or she is constantly at such a heightened level of anxiety that his or her condition can't be made worse.

June 1st will the 6.5 year anniversary of the day Angela Bursler first recognized that she had something different going on inside of her body. A month later she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. One surgery and sixteen chemotherapy treatments later she was declared in remission. Unfortunately, she had two more occurrences one of which landed her in a hospital bed from twenty-one days. May of 2016 was a challenging month for her as she battled a near-death experience. Declared neutropenic, isolated in a hospital room with her lungs full of fluid she somehow rose herself from the dead and beat cancer once again.

Here we are 6+ years since she was first diagnosed facing a much different challenge. In March of 2020, just before the pandemic hit, she was diagnosed a fourth time with cancer. Most would say that would be devastating but she cried for just a moment before getting on her horse and riding again.

Questions that I pose to myself but never to her are how do you manage? How do you smile? How do you get up every day and act like nothing is wrong? She is a strong woman so much stronger than me. I maintain my composure not because of my strength but because of her strength. I get up and do what I have to do like nothing is wrong not because I'm strong but because she is strong. She can call me a hero or a saint but truthfully those words are meant for her.

So then you ask yourself the question what is it that is being done to keep her alive. Well, I have some answers most of which I learned from her. There are more but here are the top three.

1. Cry when you need to but smile and laugh more.
2. Live your life as though nothing is wrong.
3. Have the ability to forgive yourself and your partner. Life, in general, is emotional life compounded by illness is even more emotional. It is okay to get angry but be ready to forgive.

It is because of her our life is about as normal as it can be. Yes, there is a pandemic but our biggest battle is cancer and we know how to win.
Love you Angela Bursler

#Angelasangels