Friday, March 28, 2014

Chemo update: week 5 treatment #4. 3-25-14

Chemo update: week 5 treatment #4. After a week off my wife returned to the center today for her 4th visit. While we had an excellent week off there was a lot of apprehension leading up to today. Todays visit mimics the first mixture of meds that were introduced into her system which resulted in major side effects. Both my wife & I are people that immediately develop solutions to problems so we armed with different ways to fend off the side effects this time around however the potential that there could be a repeat performance from round 1 is very scary. As I drove back home from taking my boy to school this morning I teared up for the first time in weeks. The mere thought of poison being injected into her body is very upsetting to me. My wife is very brave. She internalizes her emotions to protect the kids & I but I could tell over the last couple of days that she was upset about today. I’m there to take care of her every moment of the day even when I’m not physically present both my heart & my mind are focused on caring for my wife. I will admit I’m not looking forward to another 3-4 days of watching her suffer with no way to protect her but I’m getting used to being quiet and just holding her hand. Every day that goes by I know in my heart that all will be okay and we will again return to our normal life. In the mean time our family has become stronger, more close & caring for one another. I’ll end this note like I end most notes to my wife---I love you Angela!

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Week 4 Pelvic Exam

Well, I had my first pelvic exam since I had the lump removed and a total hysterectomy. I was extremely anxious and nervous. Doc said I am healing great, my scar looks fantastic and best of lumps!!! What a huge relief!!!

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Hair loss begins 3-12-14

Well we hit a milestone today albeit a bad one but still a milestone.  The first clumps of hair started falling out of Angela’s head today.  I will never be able to relate to the feelings of a female losing her hair as the result of chemotherapy however I do have the male perspective.  My story is one that will show the clear separation of my courageous wife vs. my own cowardness.  At 27 years of age my hair naturally started to fall out of my head.  In a desperate attempt to conceal the loss I tried every gimmick in the book including the painful hair replacement surgery to recover what I had lost.  What I gained was a good dose of low self-esteem and a nice big scar that wraps from one side of my head to the other.  Regardless no lessons were learned until now as I witness my wife bravely accepting the hand that she has been dealt with a smile on her face and a confident beam in her eye.  My wife, with hair or without, is a beautiful woman and truthfully I believe that her most magnificent features will now shine through without the hair blocking the way.  Me, what I’ve learned is it is best to face fear in the eye, accept the hand that is dealt and make the best of what I have.   My story is one I’ve told very few but one that I find important to tell now if for nothing else as a way to support my wonderful wife.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Chemo Treatment #3 3/11/14

Chemo treatment #3 today. Mornings of scheduled treatments are now becoming routine or at least as routine as it can get. The courage Angela continues to have is unbelievable to me. While I would most likely be curled up in bed until the very last minute Angela was up & moving early this morning. There is a certain unknown to this week's treatment in that it includes an injection of Avasten. Angela responded well to Taxon last week with little or no side effects. We will both be on pins & needles this week waiting to see how she reacts to the mixture of Taxon & Avasten. The good news is that next week is an off week & we just came off our best weekend since the end of last year. I love her.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Chemo treatment #2 summary of condition two days after

Chemo treatment #2 resulted in the following: day of treatment no side effects. 1st day after treatment minor lower body aches. 2nd day after treatment general sluggishness. So far she has been spared the most brutal of the side effects experience after treatment #1, no nausea or acid reflux. I could be speaking too soon or her condition could be the result of good reporting of pain & response by her doctors. The best news of all is that she gained 2.5 lbs over the last 4 days! We have 16 more treatments 5 of which will include the administration of Taxon & Carboplatin the effects of which she experienced last week. The side effects associated with this mixture of meds is brutal however the application of a nausea patch & a prescription to minimize or eliminate acid reflux should make the next experience a little better. There are also still 6 treatments that will include the administration of Taxon & Avasten. This is the mixture of meds that will be introduced into her system as part of treatmen #3. There will be a lot of unknowns however she has already demonstrated that she has the courage to face whatever comes her way & if something does become overwhelming I’ll be there to help her get over the hump. The remaining 5 treatments will include only Taxon which, if her condition remains consistent over the next few days, she can obviously process through her system with a minimum amount of pain. I’m learning just how courageous my darling wife is. 2 of 18 or 12% done. We can do this!

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

2nd Chem Treatment 3/4/14

Round 2 of chemotherapy for my wife today. It was a wonderful surprise that today's treatment was limited to 5-1/2 hours vs. the 8 hour round 1 treatment. She was spared the agony of having the nastiest medicine introduced into her system so we're hopeful that the side effects associated with today's treatment will be mild. That being said we have developed a plan to counteract the side effects in the case of a recurrence. The most devastating effect of last week's treatment was loss of appetite resulting in a 5 lb weight loss leaving her at 92 lbs. We're going to battle this issue tooth and nail this week to be sure that her weight is maintained & hopefully restored closer to normal. My pretty wife is smiling & happy today. This was a good day!

Back to normal---day 6 after 1 chemo treatment 3/3/14

The first day my wife felt 100%.  This was a great day!

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Day 4 Post Chemo Treatment #1 3-1-14

As my wife slept I decided to take a run this morning. Out of respect for her condition I took the most difficult route that I could find and never once veered from that objective. My thought was that her discomfort cannot be relieved so why should I run a route in which I’m comfortable. A lot of people suffer with disease or illness everyday while I take my health for granted never once giving thought to how quickly that could change.

Condition today is improved however she still battled with bouts of nausea & sluggishness.  She did eat but her appetite through this four day period has not been very good.