Monday, July 14, 2014

Chemo update-Week 19-No treatment-7/8/2014

Leading up to the third treatment in the 5th series of three (15 overall) Angela & I were on pins and needles waiting to see if her white blood cell count was adequate for treatment to resume.  Mid-day passed on Monday with no phone calls indicating a problem so Angela called the facility to gain confirmation of the results.  We were both pleasantly surprised & excited to hear that she was cleared to receive treatment the following day.  In my mind things were playing out just as we had hoped.  Receive this treatment on Tuesday & the affects of the Avestin booster shot the next day along with the upcoming off week would at least get her through to treatment 17.

Typically I'm on my toes at all times with the knowledge that cancer treatment is not always going to follow a particular plan however I became complacent on this day & allowed myself to think ahead.  My wife was planning vacations & I was counting down the days to the next stage of treatment.  We both slept well the night before, in fact, the steroids that usually interrupt Angela's sleep had no effect on her at all.  The next day we followed our normal routine as I awoke early to go to work to put in a couple of hours before returning @ 7:30 or so to drive her to the treatment facility.  The drive was easy & things were falling into place perfectly that morning until......  My phone rang as we were stopped at a red light less than 100 yards from the treatment facility.  I turned the phone over to my wife and from there our entire day and plan for the next couple of weeks changed.  The news was that the results from the blood test that she received the day before was inaccurate so instead of continuing on to the facility we made a U-turn and silently went home.

It was very disappointing news however we have learned to be accepting of whatever is tossed at us.  The important thing at this point is for Angela to stay strong & for me to try my best to support her.  If outward appearance was an indication of the level of difficulty of staying strong it would be quite hard for me to recognize the challenge however because I know Angela it is easy for me to see her dig deep each day to battle.  She is the strongest person that I know and she continues to battle the disease, treatment and disappointments so much better than I ever could.  She will stay strong no matter what--me, on the other hand, I struggle with channeling my energy into the right emotions so sometimes I may say, act, or do something that appears to be less than supportive but only because of the way it is said or done.  It is only because she knows I love her to death that she is able to translate everything I do into exactly what I mean it to be.

As we approach our second attempt at treatment #15 the side effects kicked into another gear constantly putting her in pain and leaving me feel helpless.  The comments & support of our friend, family and even social network friends that we have never met have went a long way toward giving us the strength we need to conquer the disease & the effects of the treatment.    As we take it day to day & week to week our goal now is to knock off this next treatment putting us in a position where we see the end of this part of the journey. 

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