Saturday, June 28, 2014

Chemo update- week 17-Treatment #13-6/25/2014

Treatment 12 revealed yet another distressful side effect for which we did not have an immediate remedy.  Severe bone pain concentrated in the chest with symptoms similar to that of a heart attack dropped Angela to her knees several times.  Sitting at home on a weekend with my wife in this condition left me conflicted as to whether we should go to the ER or whether to allow her to manage the pain on her own terms.   Angela’s will won out and we stayed home and she battled it until a remedy was provided the following Monday.  Fast forward back to when treatment first started I’m sure that I thought that by the 12th treatment we would be well aware of all of the side effects and the remedy however I could not have been more wrong.      

Week 16, an off week, Angela had a couple of relaxing days at the beach and also received the news that her cat scan was negative.   The great news of the negative scan revealed a path forward to the end of chemotherapy and on to the next phase of treatment.  As uplifting of thought this was the excitement was tempered knowing that treatment 13 was on the horizon.   

Every time we make our way to the treatment facility I recall the feelings & emotions that were expressed the first time we made our way there & it seems to get easier every time.   The 1st trip was sad & scary because CANCER could mean death and CHEMO obviously means pain.   As time has moved forward I adopted the same approach to this disease as I adopted for my 100 mile running.  Some people are overwhelmed by the point to point distance because they focus on every single mile however I was never overwhelmed because I didn’t focus on the mileage but instead I focused on time.  It was with the understanding that eventually I would get there as long as I kept moving.  I take the same approach with the disease in that I know that over time as long as we are patient and move forward  without harping on what could be she will be okay.   This is a coping mechanism works for  in order for my wife to be just as positive she must adopt a similar mental approach & also continue to dig deep down inside of herself and battle the hell out of this disease. 

Today, three days after treatment 13, nausea will not relent.  Our household is somber but I can feel the battle within Angela and I know within a day she will be okay.  I’m confused sometimes with my role because I’m not one to stand by & watch however I’ve learned that sometimes the best support is by just silently being there.  My darling wife will soon be okay and we will move away from this disease on to a new life of recovery.  

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